DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST MEN IN INDIA

When most people hear the term "domestic violence," they often assume that a man is the aggressor. While this may be true in many of the reported cases, domestic violence against men is more common than you may think and can pose a serious threat to its victims. Fortunately, men are generally protected just as women are under most domestic violence laws.

Domestic Violence has been accepted across the world as a form of violence that affects an individuals life in every way – physically, mentally, emotionally and psychologically – and is a violation of basic human rights. Several countries have acknowledged it as a serious threat to a person’s overall well-being irrespective to the gender hence providing relief in various forms. India has also identified domestic violence as a crime and provides relief and protection from it – albeit to only Women.

Indian men facing domestic violence at the hands of wife or female partner is a harsh reality. However, no one including our government has taken any stand on addressing it. Domestic Violence is a serious social issue, but men who face domestic violence in India have nowhere to go since neither the law nor the society accepts them as victims.

Domestic Violence Defined

The term "domestic violence" covers a broad range of violent acts committed by one member of a family or household against another. It often refers to the mistreatment of a child or spouse and can include not only physical harm, but also threats and verbal, psychological, and sexual abuse. The key distinction between domestic violence and more general assault crimes is the relationship of the abuser to the victim.

Types of Abuse

Violence against men

 (As peer the Domestic Violence LAW, 

2005 of India) 

A. Physical violence For example: Beating, slapping, hitting, biting, 

kicking, punching, pushing, shoving or causing bodily pain or 

injury in any other manner. 

B. Sexual violence, including against children 

• Forced sexual intercourse 

• Forces to look at pornography or any other obscene pictures or 

material 

• Any act of sexual nature to abuse, humiliate or degrade you, or 

which is otherwise volatile of dignity or any other unwelcome 

conduct of sexual nature 

• Child sexual abuse 

C. Verbal and emotional violence 

• Insults 

• Name calling 

• Accusations on your character and conduct etc 

• Insults for not having a male child 

• Insults for not bringing dowry etc 

 Preventing you or a child in your custody from attending school, 

college or any other educational institution 

• Preventing you from taking up a job, forcing you to leave your job 

• Preventing you or a child in your custody from leaving the house 

• Preventing you from meeting any person in the normal course of 

events 

• Forcing you to get married when you don’t want to marry 

• Preventing you from marrying a person of your own choice 

• Forcing you to marry a particular person of his/their own choice 

• Threat to commit suicide 

• Any other verbal or emotional abuse 

D. Economic violence 

• Not providing you money for maintaining you or your children 

• Not providing food, clothes, medicines etc     for  you or your children 

• Stopping you from carrying on your employment or disturbing you 

in carrying on your employment 

• Not allowing you to take up an employment or taking away your 

income from your salary, wages etc 

• Forcing you out of the house you live in 

• Stopping you from accessing or using any part of the house 

• Not allowing use of clothes, articles or things of general household use

• Not paying rent if staying in a rented accommodation 

Some specific classification

• Forced genital mutilation. Forced circumcision. Involuntary castration.
• Malicious castration. Involuntary penis removal.
• Shame-stroke.
• Human trafficking.
• Groom kidnapping.
• Using insults, name-calling, and other berating language
• Interfering with him seeing his family and friends
• Threatening to expose embarrassing personal information to others
• Showing oppressive possessiveness or jealousy
• Restricting his spending or controlling his finances
• Shoving, slapping, or otherwise striking him
• Threatening harm to themselves or others as a way to "punish" him.

Underreporting of Domestic Violence Against Men

Getting exact numbers on domestic violence overall is difficult since so many cases go unreported, but it's even tougher to figure out just how many men are suffering abuse. A big part of the reason is traditional gender roles in society and the stigma of the perceived weakness of any many who admits to falling victim to a woman. Despite some research suggesting that men and women commit domestic violence against each other in equal numbers, the reported victims are overwhelmingly female.

Part of the reason for the disparity in reported victims might also be because men who call police to report domestic violence against them fear that they will end up being the ones getting arrested. Domestic violence against men victims can be particularly reluctant when children are involved, since leaving them with the woman leaves the kids at risk for harm, but attempting to take the children out of the situation risks giving the impression that the man is abducting them. So long as the common misconception persists that men are always the abuser and women are always the victim, it's unlikely that male victims will feel comfortable reporting their abuse.

The patriarchal thinking that “Mardko Dard nahihota” (Men do not feel pain) eulogizes and patronizes emotional castration of boys from a very young age which teaches them to tolerate abuse and feel glorified about making sacrifices. Owing to this social conditioning, a vast majority of victimized men wear a plastic smile and hide their scars and suffer in solitude. 

The survey conducted by National Family Health Survey which throws light on unprovoked violence against men by women is evidence in the face. Notwithstanding the fact that double the numbers of men commit suicide compared to women, it should not be a surprise to ask for a law to protect men as such a law for women already exists. In fact, it would be preposterous in this age of gender equality, not to have such a law. Such a law to protect men from domestic violence would act as succour to millions of those men who feel victimised and left out. It would also provide them with a legal platform to come forward and share their pain and get some semblance of a relief. 

According to the report published in The Guardian, about two in five of all victims of domestic violence are men, contradicting the widespread impression that it is almost always women who are left battered and bruised. 

Men assaulted by their partners are often ignored by police, see their attacker go free and have far fewer refuges to flee to than women, says a study by the men's rights campaign group Parity. The charity's analysis of statistics on domestic violence shows the number of men attacked by wives or girlfriends is much higher than thought. Its report, Domestic Violence: The Male Perspective, states: 

"Domestic violence is often seen as a female victim/male perpetrator problem, but the evidence demonstrates that this is a false picture." Data from Home Office statistical bulletins and the British Crime Survey show that men made up about 40% of domestic violence victims each year between 2004-05 and 2008-09, the last year for which figures are available. In 2006-07 men made up 43.4% of all those who had suffered partner abuse in the previous year, which rose to 45.5% in 2007-08 but fell to 37.7% in 2008-09Similar or slightly larger numbers of men were subjected to severe force in an incident with their partner, according to the same documents. The figure stood at 48.6% in 2006-07, 48.3% the next year and 37.5% in 2008-09, Home Office statistics show. 

The 2018-19 bulletin states: "More than one in four women (28%) and around one in six men (16%) had experienced domestic abuse since the age of 16. These figures are equivalent to an estimated 4.5 million female victims of domestic abuse and 2.6 million male victims." 

Relevance of the study:- These days MEN are becoming victims of domestic violence abuse against men in the home is on the rise. 

Relevance of the study:- When we talk about Gender Equality, we shall not forget our age-old culture. When we talk about Women empowerment, need not to think about disempowerment of men. When we talk about Justice for all, need not to forget that men are a part of "all". Indian Men Suicide is rising after marriage, rising and rising… 

(Crime Bureau Report of India.) 

Men can be reluctant to say that they are victims, and they worry that they won't be believed. Constitution of India says [All people of India shall be guaranteed and secured social, economic and political justice; equality of status and opportunities before law; and fundamental freedom.] 

WHY? Indian men have no Equality in Laws. WHY? Indian Domestic 

Laws are biased towards men? WHY? It takes 7 Years to get Divorce to men and only 6 months to Indian women WHY?

Indian Fathers are denied to Child Custody, Even Mother is Prostitute.

 WHY? Indian men have no Protection Laws?

 WHY? Men do not get Reservations too. 

In most countries across the globe, the laws against domestic violence provide protection to both men and women. Men can also seek restraining orders from courts, which restrain the abusive partner or wife from perpetrating abuse and even contacting the victim. Whereas in India, family violence against men is almost legal as there is no provision in the law to protect a man, who faces violence from wife or other female family members. There are uncountable cases where a husband has been abused, tortured by wife or female partners in connivance with her own family or relatives or even friends. Many times the violence is so brutal that the husband or the male partner suffers extreme injuries, which results in loss of life.

 When there is no law / Judiciary support, how can a man lead normal happy life... These all fact is clear indication that Indian husbands are harassed more than Indian women, at home and judicially. 

This situation is mainly due to the so-called patriarchal thinking in the society, that men are physically stronger than women. It’s high time in India to keep pace with the rest of the world and makes the laws against domestic violence gender neutral.
Forum for Social Justice & Development (Registered NGO) working on GENDER EQUALITY, for few years have highlighted this grievous issue. A day is not far when a war will begin between the two sexes to secure their own rights which will surely paralyze the entire society, therefore enacting a law for protection of men from domestic violence by inclusion of men in Domestic Violence Act (PWDVA 2005) is an absolute need of hour which is long overdue. 

Most abused men in India run away from their abusers and apply for divorce, because they are either afraid of losing access to their children or they are afraid of getting implicated in false cases of dowry harassment. They also fear for huge financial losses and long drawn litigation in the process, given the insensible and lackadaisical attitude of the Indian Judiciary towards men. This could be the prime reason when male suicides rate is much higher than the female suicide rates as 4966 for males and 4049 for females under the various age groups sharing in the category of marriage related issues, love affairs etc except dowry deaths as per the date published by the National Crime Record Bureau of India under Ministry of Home Affairs, Government of India. Apart from that the data also shockingly showed that male suicide rates are further much higher in respect to their female counterparts which accounts 86562 for males and 38039 for females under various societal and medical issues henceforth it is now a unquestionable fact that males are more inclined to end their lives in comparison to females but no protective measures are available in India. 

 
As there is a lot of social stigma towards men abused by women.  Most of the male victims do not come out in open and do not share their ordeal with family, friends or colleagues. Male victims of domestic violence are ridiculed and considered as unmanly. Such thinking is chauvinistic and it is harmful. Violence on men can range from anything like - physical violence including slapping, pushing, hitting by wife, her parents or relatives; emotional violence with wife threatening suicide to intimidate and control the husband; verbal abuse if husband remains in contact with his parents or comes home late from work; throwing objects like utensils, cell phones and crockery at the husband; sexual abuse if husband denies sex to mental abuse by constant threats of implicating the husband and his family under false case of dowry and domestic violence.

Like men, a female partner also tends to brings the stress of the workplace to the home. This is one of the main reasons of domestic violence against men. The other reasons include intolerance and anger at non-fulfilment of expectations. Sometimes, incapability of husband to meet monetary demands of wife also leads to abuse and violence. Times are changing and there are many men whose wives are more educated than their husbands and earn more. However, the burden of running the house still rests on the man owing to 16th century patriarchal beliefs and this paves the path for abuse of men. Such a law could allow such husbands to seek maintenance from an abusive wife and lead a dignified life free from abuse. Male victims of family violence go through low self-esteem and their performance at workplace suffers. Thousands of such men are approaching psychiatrists, who are not of much help, when a law to provide protection to men and restrain the women does not exist.

Most parents of women blame the son-in-law for the breakdown of the marriage, without accepting that their daughter is abusive or she has serious anger management issues. They somehow think their daughter can never be wrong and expect the son-in-law to tolerate her. They get violent at son-in-law to teach him a lesson or seek revenge.

 Police rarely accept any complaints filed by husband about the violence he is suffering, claiming that this is a family issue. They also refuse to provide any protection to the man.

The most popular patriarchal thinking that “Mard ko Dard nahihota” (Men do not feel pain) eulogizes and patronizes emotional castration of boys from a very young age which teaches them to tolerate abuse and feel glorified about making sacrifices. Owing to this social structure, a vast majority of victimized men wear an artificial smile and hide their scars and suffer in isolation.

The surveys conducted throws light on unprovoked violence against men by women is evidence in the face. Notwithstanding the fact that double the numbers of men commit suicide compared to women, it should not be a surprise to ask for a law to protect men as such a law for women already exists. In fact, it would be preposterous in this age of gender equality, not to have such a law. Such a law to protect men from domestic violence would act as relief to millions of those men who feel victimized and left out. It would also provide them with a legal platform to come forward and share their pain and get some semblance of a relief.

The system cannot change unless we challenge societal norms and encourage others to realize domestic abuse towards men is a problem which needs attention now.

 HENCE WE BELIEVE THAT INCLUSION OF MALES UNDER DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ACT may neutralize the law with a good output while allowing only genuine victims of either gender to come forward and demand for justice and subsequently minimize the misuse of legal provisions in India.

Need for Gender Neutral Laws

In cases where men are falsely accused of violence or dowry, a law which can address these false allegations is the need of the hour. Human rights and gender equality should include both men and women. Domestic violence should be considered as spousal violence and must not be differentiated due to gender.

Domestic violence act in India is for women only. Studies show that men are also the victims of violence at the hand of women. Hence, necessary amendments addressing violence against men are suggested.²

Conclusion

The family structure and society are changing, and the same is true with the norms and values regarding gender violence. Men also are physically and mentally harassed by their spouses and in-laws. Hence, their problems must be recognized as a social and public health issue, and appropriate strategies and interventions should be implemented. They too need help in crisis and family violence, especially by spouse.Even the laws and legislation must include domestic violence against men as a punishable offense. Men and women are the pillars of society and a family. Hence, laws are needed to offer protection to both from spousal violence.